A life more ordinary

Well, there goes another yearly trip to the Fringe. If you're counting dear Reader, and I'm almost certain you're not, then this was year nine - that's right, I've been going to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for a straight nine years in a row, starting in 2003 when it was just me, James, Sid and Ellie staying in St. Mary's music school up to now, when a dozen of us rent out houses and flats near the Royal Mile. Is this boring of me? Dull perhaps? Should I devote more time to exploring other lands and cultures, trekking through the rain forests or getting drunk on a beach in Thailand? Maybe. But I'm a pretty well traveled chap, and I can honestly say that apart from some childhood holidays in Hong Kong, where my innocence and ability to love anything new was as much as a part of the experience as anything else, Edinburgh Fringe is the single greatest holiday experience I've had in my adult life. Sure, I liked working on a Kibbutz and hitchhiking across Israel, but mainly I enjoy talking about it [i]having done it[/i] - at the time it was quite hard work; yes watching the sun rise over Mount Masada was lovely, but I was also knackered from the climb and really wanted a cappuccino.

On paper Edinburgh Fringe may sound more like some sort of punishment: to move from one darkened, cramped venue to another and being pelted with incessant rain in the intervals, but that's paper for you: all of the facts and none of the substance. The reality is...well, that's the point really, in many ways it's not anything like reality - you move not from venue to venue but from one world to another, each created by the performer, be it the comedians take on the world today or a puppet show set in the distant future. And whether it's good or bad, it is always more than a room with people in it: it's a story unfolding, a world unraveling or an American high school demonstrating how not to put on a musical. Plus the city is just one giant party where the world is invited. Sure, there are rubbish shows and yes, on Friday and Saturday nights the drunk locals spoil the fantasy a bit (but then in fairness it is their city), but overall is a break from reality, a little bit of topsy turvy in an otherwise straight-tie world.

This year I've decided to really make an effort to try and take a show up next year - I think that having seen it from the audience point of view for so long I'd like to see it from the performers' point of view. It's not just because of the Fringe that I have the urge to unleash my creative juices, I've been thinking generally recently about what I want out of life - work is alright and life's not too bad, but what else is it that I want? What is a fox without a chicken in its mouth? What's my chicken? I'm not sure, but I'd like to have a go at creating, to invite other people into my world for a moment or two and see what they think. I'm going to start (and perhaps finish) with comedy - I've started a sketch group, albeit one that's just been born and is squinting in the light, utterly unable to sit up yet let alone take its first steps, and I'm also going to try stand-up. The noble art of humour! Comedy has been around since the first time a caveman threw a custard pie at a mammoth (slapstick) and was then trampled to death (black comedy). Do I think I'll be good at this? I have no idea, I might be rubbish. Thing is you never know until you try, and people are rarely born good at something, mostly when you see something look effortless it's because a lot of effort has gone into it. So, here's me having a crack and, win or lose, I'll know I tried and didn't just daydream. And quite frankly I have the time, I work pretty much 9-5 and don't work weekends and have about 33 days off a year, so I have no excuses. Free time + money = the arts.

Anyway, until next time dear Reader, keep well and try to be happy.

Hello dear Reader, I think it's time for another post where I bore you with the slow turning circle of my life. I've been back at the NAO for about 6 months or so now, which is just ridiculous; time shouldn't be allowed to go that fast. I'm pretty sure I've been working all that time, but on what I couldn't say for certain.

What with the spending cuts and all the interest in that public sector finance has suddenly gone from being like that dull guy hanging about in the corner at a party to that worrying guy in the middle of the room who is drunk and may or may not have a knife. Oh sure, there's good attention and bad, but at least we're meeting new people. Exactly what this means in the long run, I'm not entirely sure. I'm also not entirely sure that the spending cuts are needed - at first I thought they were but having looked into it a bit it seems that having large amounts of debt is something of a pattern since the 40s and doesn't seem to have done us much harm. I know that when people say we're 1 trillion in debt by counting the civil service pension is very misleading - we do have an existing liability for the pensions but what we don't count is all the future tax income, because in accounting terms you count your debts right away but your income as you receive it under something called 'prudence'. It's a bit like, if I was a county you might say I'm 200K in debt because of my mortgage, that looks terrible on the face of it, but you could, for instance, count all my future income as a present asset in which case I'm well in the black. Basically, it's confusing and if anyone is sure they are right on this they almost certainly aren't.

Hmmph. In other news my flat is almost redecorated, I'm covered in paint and a small, noisy cat is staying with me until Monday, and I'm now a fan of the music of Emmy the Great. Back before Jesusmass I paid £50 as part of a contribution for an Emmy the Great living room gig (the description is literal), but truth be told I wasn't much of a fan at that point and just did it because it was more interesting than not doing it. But since then the music has grown on me with her high, well-enunciated voice and subtle melodies. I recommend it if you have time to spare and you aren't deaf.

More people I know are in London now which is a state of affairs I thoroughly approve of. Two Saturdays ago I saw the Hot Mikado by my old theatre group Impact, and it was much better than I expected, though it still strikes me as a bit pointless as the original is better. Feeling like I hadn't spent long enough in a dark theatre, I then went to watch Submarine which is a BRILLIANT film. Go and watch it if you haven't - in fact stop reading this right now and go and watch it! Go on!

Until next time dear Reader.

Dear Reader, I thought that for this entry I'd take a picture from my past on one from my present and tell the (brief) story behind them as a sort of slightly more interesting way of boring you with my life story.


The past!


Ha! This is from a Yeoman of the Guard rehearsal, way back in the year 2000. It was my final year of Uni, (though I ended up doing a Masters the next year) and my second G&S show. In this photo the scene is the crowd chasing Jack Point and Elsie - Paul Tooby, who was, back then, probably my best friend, played the large and important role of Jack Point while I was the somewhat pointless 'citizen' who had a line or two. Yeoman is a great show and I really enjoyed it - these were drunken times for me, where rehearsals were largely the things that filled the time before and after the bar break. I was poor and lived in a run down pile of bricks, which could charitable be described as a house, with four other blokes in a crap part of Lenton. But I had lots of fun and think back to these times with fondness. Oh yeah, and I had short hair dyed blond.

The present!


This, dear Reader, is from yesterday, the fourth (and best yet) G&S in London Christmas meal. The 'tradition' started in 2007 to bring together old friends from University. We've had it in Savoir Faire for three out of the last four years, as it does by far and away the best Christmas dinner for a big group. There were 24 people originally, but the the huge amount of snow that fell yesterday snowed some people in. Oh how God mocks our plans! But we still had a good turn out and it was great. This photo is taken at the pub where we met beforehand and features Bex, who came all the way from America, and James.

Well, the years sail by don't they! Look at me now, a home-owner. Quite frankly I can't remember what I last wrote here about my house, and I can't be bothered to read it so I'll start when I moved in on September the 15th. The place was a nightmare for anyone who hadn't traveled here in a time-machine from the the 1970s. If you had, then the decor would have made you feel right at home, but for someone who hails from the present era it presented itself and something of a challenge. As a virgin of whole-scale house refurbishment, I believed, in my naivety, that it wouldn't be so bad and I'd be done in a few weeks. How wrong I was! Everything needed doing, from replacing the tatty old carpet with wooden floors to removing the four layers of wallpaper (some of which pre-dated the conversion and actually went under the plaster in places). Much of the plaster fell off and I've had to rebuild the walls with pollyfilla. Days, weeks and months have been spend sanding, painting, cleaning, repairing and building furniture. But now it's all starting to look like a home. The last big job, replacing the living room windows with double-glazing, has been done and I now have a cosy modern flat in the lovely East Finchley. Best quarter of a million I ever spent. The mortgage is hefty but I have more than enough and hope to start to rebuild my savings.

And the rest of life? Well, I'm back from my year at the Home Office, where I learned a huge amount, and am back at the NAO promptly forgetting it all. It all seems to be alright at the moment - I'm being kept busy. The Home Office loved me (not in an abusive way) and I would have stayed if it weren't for the pesky recruitment freeze. The Spending Review really did knock over the public sector gravy train all over the nice white table cloth. And now what do we pour over our beef?

In other news next year I'm taking the whole of August off with the idea I might try to do a show in Edinburgh. I always talk about it, but now is the time my friends.

So that's that. Nothing much more exciting, but it's been a hectic and different sort of year. Till next time dear reader.

Dear Reader,

It's been a while and I don't know how many of you are left out there reading journal posts when friendface and Jitter have come along and rendered lengthy life-stories obsolete because we now all know what's going on the moment it happens, but if you're there and you're listening then hello, and I bid you welcome again to another installment of the Fall and Rise of Reginald Hemsley.

It's exciting times now, so brace yourself. I'm moving house - I've bought a place just up the road (so still in the lovely East Finchley) and I have just taken the enormous step of writing and signing the notice letter on this flat to end the tenancy arrangement. I've been here 5 years now, or thereabout, and I still remember the day I arrived, after Maurice from my Leicester lab. drove me down and Greg made us pasta for dinner before my first day at the NAO. Seems like yesterday, if yesterday were a thousand years ago. And all that's gone between, with the training to be an auditor and all the ACA exams and all the stuff of life. Five years, and I've really enjoyed living here, right next to the tube station. I move barely 5 minutes walk away, but I'll miss Deanery Close and the place I've called home for longer than any other save my parents house in which I grew up. So that's that then! Let it be recorded here that we spray painted boiler suits silver on the floor of this living room for the show Back to the Future, that I passed my ACA exams by revising at THAT table over there, that I sat in this chair playing Oblivion while I slowly developed severe food poisoning two years ago, and that I hung a bunch of bananas on that coat hook and forgot about them before going on holiday to Edinburgh one summer, to come back to find them as black as coal and covered in fruit flies. If my life is to be read in Chapters, then so ends the latest one.

In other news I've decided to go back to the NAO once my secondment to the Home Office has finished. It's not that the NAO is wonderful and doesn't irritate the crap out of me, it's just that, despite it looking a lot better on paper, I'm not very happy in this job. Don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy, it's just that I feel like I'm not really sure what I'm doing. My job seems to be to sit there until the next emergency arises and I don't like being in something so undefined. Maybe I'm wrong, and maybe this is a mistake. But going by my gut I'm pretty sure I preferred the NAO. Plus, there's all the public spending cuts. As required as they might be, the way they are being handled is laughable - a trained chimp could manage this process better. A lot of people are angry and a lot of people are nervous, and I don't think making one third of the civil service unemployed is a good way to end the financial crisis.

In even more other news, I've taken up Brazilian Jui Jitsu which is a bit like the submission wrestling I used to do, only even more so. It's pretty good, and I've got much stronger and fitter since doing it but I still need to work out how it fits into my life. I'll keep doing for now though. I suppose it's currently the 'shark in my tank', the thing in my life that keeps me on my toes. Before you ask, no, the shark in my tank will never be work because, no matter what I do, I'll never care enough about work for it to have that kind of impact on me.

Well dear Reader, I think next time I may tell you where the expression 'shark in my tank' comes from, but until then I bid you goodnight, wherever you are.

Matt

PS. My Twitter name is Fatzburger if you want to follow me.

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Having worked at the Home Office for 5 months now, I think I see the way forward for me careerwise now. I think I'm going to stay in public sector but try to move around to rise higher in the rankings; I'm a grade seven now so if I stick with that for a couple of years, then I can go for a grade six role and maybe eventually a senior civil servant. I have a good salary, I don't much want to work in the private sector, so I think that, as a plan, it's alright. Having said all that, who knows what the future holds! I quite like the Home Office - I work 9-5 but I work consistently, and if you do some good work they give you a pay bonus to say thank you. Unlike the NAO which gives you...nothing.

In other news, I may be buying a house soon. It's small and very expensive, but it's in East Finchley and that's where I want to be, about 5 mins from where I live now. Yes, £250k is a lot for a one bedroom flat, BUT I'd rather have a small place in a nice area than a palace in Elephant and Castle. So, barring any problems, it looks like it's going ahead. It also is share of freehold and has a garden.

Right!! I'll keep you posted.

As we take stock of where we are now, let us take some time to reflect back on where we've been.

So here's a thing if you want to do it: pick three friends from your livejournal list and describe how and when you first met them, letting the memories roll out and reminding you of that bit of life's road when you met another traveller.

And so on...

As we come careering to the end of another arbitrary method of measuring the passage of time known amongst the people of Earth as the noughties, I thought I'd do a nostalgic look back on the days gone by. So, for each year a memory.

2000: Er...what was I doing in 2000? I yeah, I did Yeoman in March then started up a Masters in Genetics and Society for no other reason than I wanted to hang about and do more G&S. I had got the end of my degree and didn't want to grow up and get a job so became G&S social sec. and had a lot of fun. It took me about three months before I realised I had a private computer room for Masters students.

2001: Finished my masters and didn't know what to do so I hung about Nottingham doing temping work. This was the year that, to my embarrassment, I wrote a fair bit of Ida Princess of Darkness. It was a fun year though in which the Broadgate girls (Gemma, Amy, Claire and Louise) arrived on the scene. Congrats. on Gemma on her upcoming wedding to Giles. Who'd have thunk it back then.

2002: PhD year!! Why on Earth did I do a PhD? Oh well, it was something to do. Odd when I think about it now: three years in a lab. with a weird Italian and big fat Frenchman.

2003: More PhD. It sometime during this year I realise that I really don't want to be an academic.

2004: Still doing a PhD and I was in the Gondoliers. It was fun, but doing rehearsals and the lab. work was very tough. Oh yeah, I moved to Leicester too. Nice house with a dog and medic housemates. The dog was called Hutch and was a multiple pooer.

2005: Noteable for the enthusiasm for the gym and attending the MMA school in Leicester. I finished the lab. part of my PhD but was another three years before I finally graduated. Oh yeah, I also got accepted to the NAO. Ha!! Didn't know what I was letting myself in for there.

2006: NAO year! In order to be accepted into the NAO I had to stand for three days and three nights outside with no food or water. Then they invite you inside to have tea with John Bourne and you have to let him drink first to show you're polite.

2007: I learn the mysterious ways of the auditor, or something.

2008: This was last year wasn't it? Damn good for Edinburgh and...I passed all my exams! Hooray! I also did Oliver (the show I mean) which was fun.

2009: Oh! This was a grand old year it was. What with Pete's marvellous Stag weekend in Brighton and even more marvellous wedding and a bunch of other stuff happening. I led audits, which was a huge pain in the arse to be honest. Oh, and I started working at the Home Office...which is more like a mild headache.


What will 2010 hold? Hopefully riches, beautiful women and a rollercoaster of fun and good times. Realistically? Probably quite a lot like last year. I'd like to buy a house though.